I’ve always been an outcast, always been a freak. I’ve never been popular in my school. And I’ve always been taught that anything but straight is wrong. But a big part of me liked girls. Always has. Even as a kid, I’d see high school girls and think “Boy are they hot!” I even befriended them. I’ve always thought something was wrong with me and I sought God for it.
So I went to a church and tried to get over my liking of girls. Eventually, the feeling did fade. But I never liked any boys my age. I never found a hot guy that I would like to date. I never had a crush on anyone except characters my Aspergers Syndrome caused me to like (oh yes, I’d get obsessed over everything). But once in a while, I would actually feel attracted to guys. But other than that, it was just girls.
But then one night, I talked to a really caring old man about my inner feelings inside. Am I okay? Do I belong? What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I feel this way about girls? And he said these amazing words:
“Love is love, young one. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, bi or straight. It doesn’t matter what you are. God wouldn’t want you to change you.”
Then I realized that I was bisexual. Sometimes I feel attracted to girls, sometimes I feel attracted to guys. But I feel more attracted to girls than guys. So I just call myself a bisexual lesbian; it’s much easier to say than “the bisexual who is more attracted to girls.”
You are who you are. Be yourself. Don’t hide in shame. Don’t act like something you’re not. And don’t let others tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are. Just know that God loves you for you and you should too. If you don’t believe in God, then know that there’s always someone that will love you for you and not for what others want you to be.
Great message, thank you for that!
Coming from your area myself, all I can say is move. It’s not safe where you are. I’m not sure even Wenatchee or Yakima are safe. Spokane, Seattle, Portland, any of the three would be safer, more welcoming.