I’m From Fresno, CA.

There’s a swelling in my chest: Hate, shame, loneliness, pain. The man I met on the Internet snores and elbow me in his sleep. The alarm clock light dims the room, I can see his face, his eyes were closed but his right eyelid was slightly ajar as if he was still watching me. I shifted around and slid out from under the covers as quietly as I can with his breathing down my neck. I navigate through his littered room, made my way to the cabinet, his jeans wrapped around the edges in a perfect circle. My hand reached for his wallet; as the wallet exited the pocket a round metal object accompanied it. I took the piece of metal and the remaining $300 he had. I escaped through the bathroom window and jumped into my car and sped away as fast as I could.

When I got home I took a shower. A baby’s cry from the next apartment over is muffled out by the hot water running down my back. The water is cleansing, although it is not purifying. I got out of the shower and stepped into my jeans. I felt the foreign round object again and took it out to investigate. It wasn’t metal at all, in fact it was gold. I fingered the gold band. Steam rising off my body. Tried the ring on. Took it off. Steam engulfed the room, the ring. Letters began to form on the inside of the wedding ring. I lifted the ring toward the light to see what was inscribed on the inside: “With all my heart — Jen.”

The swelling in my chest began to ache. What have I done? Tears burned the back of my eyes. A bruise formed on my chest where I got elbowed as I cried alongside the baby in the next apartment wishing someone would cradle me and tell me what I had done was okay.




Tags: , , , , ,

«      |      »

Bookmark and Share



  1. Joe Jordan-Allen on May 17, 2012 at 2:02 pm

    This perspective is like nothing else I’ve read here, thanks for sharing.

  2. David on May 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Way to romanticize being a thief. I hope the shame and guilt you felt was for being a terrible human being and not for having anonymous sex.

  3. Sam on May 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    I don’t know if the constant switching between present and past tense was intentional or not, but it was very distracting.

  4. Ron Barceans on May 23, 2012 at 5:09 am

    Yes, theft is bad, but this short, glimpse of a story is about more than just stealing. This guy is dripping with guilt and shame! He feels bad about sleeping with a guy he met online, stealing, and then finding out that guy was married. That’s a full plate!! I’m glad Chris shared his story. It’s a great one, regardless of minor errors like past/present tense confusions, for this story says a lot with its briefness.

  5. Sandi on May 28, 2012 at 8:23 am

    Stealing rates far below what that married man did on the scale of bad Karma, whether the ring said Jen or Jim on the inside. I guarantee you he felt no guilt. Wonder where his spouse thought he was.




More Stories


 


I’m From Columbia, SC – Video Story.
If you're interested in being in a Video Story, just let me know and we'll set up a time and place to meet. Watch all the IFD Video Stories here. For the transcript, Continue Reading. I'm Douglas Calhoun, I'm from Columbia, South Carolina. I was born and raised there with really exorbitantly liberal parents who shock me [...]
I’m From Houston, TX.
Looking back, I remember not always feeling "normal." In elementary school I wasn't very pretty, and I had a few good friends, which I still have today. As soon as I was in fifth grade, I was a lot more sociable and comfortable with my looks. But that's not why I'm writing this. See when I [...]
I’m From Temple Hills, MD – Video Story
Interested in being in a Video Story? Just let me know and we'll set up a time and place to meet. Watch all the IFD Video Stories here. For the transcript, Continue Reading. My name is Jon Young and I'm from Temple Hills, Maryland, born and raised. So my story is about being a bisexual male and growing up in the [...]
I’m From Clackamas, OR.
I was raised to never get away. Manipulation and abuse are what I thought family meant. I grew up in dysfunction. The physical bruises so much easier to heal that the ones that lay embedded in memory. Still, tender after all these years. The only time I ever stood up to her was [...]