My mother recently came to visit me in Indianapolis, where I currently live. I have always been close with my mother as most gay guys are. I did not know it at the beginning of the visit, but this one would be different than the others and would make me appreciate our relationship in a way I never did before. And it all started with a movie.
I moved to Indianapolis about 3 years ago after graduating from college. My mom didn’t get to visit often but I always looked forward to the time she was able to spend here. One day when we had nothing planned, we decided to watch a movie. I had read about a movie called “Prayers for Bobby” and thought it would be a nice movie to watch together. The movie is about a very religious mother and her gay son’s struggle to deal with his homosexuality and be accepted by her; he eventually commits suicide. Throughout the movie, I managed to hold in all the tears; sad movies always make me cry, but this one was different somehow.
After the movie was over, I looked over at my mom and saw tears in her eyes. I looked at her, burst into tears, and through sobs managed to say 2 words – “Thank you.”
She looked at me with a somewhat confused look and said, “Thank you for what?”
I was barely able to get it out, but managed to say, “Thank you for never doing that to me and accepting me for who I am.” At that moment, she started crying and gave me a big hug. It was at that moment that I realized how lucky I am and for the first time, I truly appreciated her acceptance of me.
Even though we had a good laugh afterward about how sappy we both had gotten (after we finished crying and pulled ourselves together), I still get choked up when I think of that day.
Thank you for sharing that story. I often find myself struggling for ways to continue the fight for acceptance in society as a whole and for legalizing gay marriage and enacting hate crime legislation that I forget to remember about those who already do accept me unconditionally for who I am.
Oh fine. And now you’ve got me all weepy at my desk! At least my coworker is out of the office so I don’t have to make any sniffly explanations!
I read Prayers for Bobby about three months after I came out. I cried many times throughout the book and still quote parts of it. I love their story and I am glad that it is still reaching people. I know you know this but just to hear it again, Your mom is awesome!
My mom was over one day while I was watching Prayers for Bobby, she caught the last 30 mins of it and I could tell she was affected. After I got through reading the book I gave it to her and told her it would mean a lot to me if she read it. It’s been a couple months and although I know she started it I’m not sure she finished it. I want to give that book to my dad because he’s never accepted that I’m gay, his strong Christian beliefs keep him from even talking to me about it.