NOTE: Dave Rubin is one-half of “Ben and Dave’s Six Pack, a high protein, low carb comedy” podcast. It’s a really funny, weekly, about-an-hour podcast that’s always a great listen. Just this week they had Joy Behar on their show and it’s definitely worth checking out. I’ve met and hung out with both Ben and Dave within the past month and they’re good (and funny) people. Ben’s Video Story will be on IFD in the coming weeks.

If you’re interested in being in a Video Story, just let me know and we’ll set up a time and place to meet.

Watch all the IFD Video Stories here.

For the transcript, Continue Reading.

My name is Dave Rubin and I’m from Long Island, New York and I’m in Brooklyn now, I was actually born in Brooklyn. So I’m coming back to my roots.

I was closeted for a long, long time and I was very, like, slow in the getting out process. I would tell one person and then I would wait until all the craziness and the bullshit and the lunacy would build up again and I was ready to start shooting people, and then I would tell someone. And then that would relieve it. And then I would wait again, months, and then tell someone.

So I lived with a couple of guys who didn’t know that I was gay and literally I was so crazed that when they would leave I would run to the TV to see if Queer as Folk was on–so that tells you it was a couple years back–but I would make sure that I had the last channel, you know, the last button on the remote control would be SportsCenter or ESPN, so that I’m watching Queer as Folk when they’re gone and the second they walk in, BAM, SportsCenter. And that was the level of the craziness, and a lot of people do that. You end up lying all the time and you become an incredibly good liar without even trying to lie, which is kind of amazing.

So one day one of my roommate’s girlfriend found porn on my computer. Gay porn. Homosexual, you know, two men doing some shit. And she found the porn on my computer and she said to my roommate, “Dave has gay porn on his computer.” And Mike came up to me and was like, “Dave, we found–Sarah found–gay porn on your computer. We know it’s not yours, it must be Dan from downstairs.” Now we had this guy who lived downstairs from us, Dan, and he didn’t have Internet access so he used to come upstairs and use our computer. They believed–I didn’t even have a chance to lie. That’s how good my charade was. And then my roommate was like, “Oh, I’ll get rid of it”, he was a computer guy and said, “I can get it out of the registry”, blah blah blah, but these were Corbin Fisher monthly passes. I mean, I couldn’t risk that, so I was like, I’ll take it, you know.

Turns out that the guy who they thought was downloading really, really good porn on my computer, he’s married now, he’s not gay. I remember for the duration that I lived there, for the next couple months, every time he came in, it was like, ohh, there’s the porn guy… And I just sort of sold him up the river, you know, obviously I knew the truth but I wasn’t ready.

So eventually I did tell that roommate–we had moved out, I had told him and his wife together. She was the one who found the porn on my computer. And actually when I told them that I was gay, she immediately, I mean, she literally as I’m like, “I’m gaaaa–” like before I got the “y” out, she was like, “That was your porn! I knew that was your porn!”

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