Last year I was dumped out of a 12 year relationship. It is the only relationship I’ve ever managed to have with a man. I thought it was forever, but I was mistaken. Now I’m middle-aged, back on the market and finding out just how hopeless it may be. But you know what? I don’t care! Because those were the happiest 12 years of my life!
I met him unexpectedly, just as they say, “when I wasn’t looking.” I went to a party and a friend who was with me but was too shy to make a move, thought he (my future ex) was cute. I really had given up on men so I wasn’t too interested. But I got all of us to exchange phone numbers so they could meet up. However, he called me. At first I thought he’d never stick around, but he did. Our relationship was like any other: good times, bad times, vacations, holidays, fights and extraordinary moments of bliss. And then, almost as suddenly, it was over. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I knew there were problems, but I thought we were working through them.
Anyhow, regardless of what I lost, I have a whole other family (his family) who still consider me part of them. I didn’t attend Holidays this year, but I saw them the weekend before Thanksgiving (my ex was bringing the new boyfriend to Thanksgiving) and I had a wonderful time. My mother-out-law, as I call her, said that she hopes one day I’ll find someone and bring them with me for visits! Can you imagine?! They want to welcome my new partner when I get one! How lucky does a guy get? I have a whole set of ex-in-laws who want to keep me in the divorce! I am awed and humbled by their generosity and love. But it does go both ways. I may be single and sometimes lonely, but I’m not at all alone.
And as cliched as it may be, I would rather have taken the chance and really loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Funny thing about love, real love: it never diminishes, it only builds and teaches and nourishes. I’m sad, but not empty, hungry but not starving. And even what terrifies me pales next to what I’ve gained. I know I can really love and I know I can never be hurt quite that way again.
You have an amazing attitude! I’m really impressed. Whether or not you meet another love (which I’m sure you will), it sounds like you’ll have a rich, full life and - more importantly - appreciate everything you have.
I’m sure you’re gonna meet some great guy again when you least expect it. You sound like a great catch!
I admire your attitude and approach to life. This narrative made me sad…then burst with pride and admiration. Thank you for being an inspiration!
I think it’s sweet that you and your ex-in-laws are still so close. Usually when things hit the fan it’s always a tendency, at least for me, to want to cut off all and every tie I had to that person. I admire your demeanor.