My coming out to my parents was never a choice. I never intended to do it when I did. It was late one night when I was at my grandparents’ house with my dad and my brother.
I guess my dad had sensed that something was bothering me, so when my brother and my grandparents had gone to bed, he came into the living room where I was sleeping on the couch. He sat next to me and started asking me questions; I don’t remember what they were. Question after question, like Chinese water torture he wouldn’t stop. Then amongst the rapid fire of questions he asked me very nonchalantly, “Are you gay?” Before I had time to process the question, before I had time to think, I said yes.
People say that when they come out a huge weight is lifted off their shoulders. No weight was lifted, all I felt was scared. I can’t remember the rest of the conversation or the weekend for that matter. I do remember that I had pleaded with him not to tell my mom. He said we’ll see.
A few days went by and my mom came home one day and said that my dad wanted to meet her in the church near his house; he had to tell her something. I knew immediately what it was. Instead of having him out me, I decided to tell her. I’m lucky that both my parents understood, eventually.
My only regret about coming out is that I never had a choice, I was never able to do it when I was ready. I was thirteen years old, I’m sixteen now, and I’m still scared. It wasn’t until another year and a half before I could bring myself to say those three words: I AM GAY.
I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Jason ~
Pride is in who you are, not some label or term. One should be judged by the contents of their character and never by any other measure. Remember that your are never defined by your sexuality, which is a normal part of your being and living just like breathing.
Explore your world but do not be afraid Jason to be yourself.
~ Brody
They quizzed you at 13 about if you were gay? That sounds like paranoia. I’m happy that it all went well for you, but it seems a lot to put a 13 yeard old through. Did you even know you were gay, for real? Many boys go through mixed feelings in those years.
Peace, brother!