The idea of coming out to my family terrified me because my parents influenced a bleak and shameful outlook upon homosexuality. My mom always cringed at the sight of gays showing affection and my father had been arrested before for hitting a guy who simply made a pass at him. Not to mention that my father was also an abusive spun-out drug addict known best for his irrational mood swings. I had realized I was gay at the age of six and had to stay in the closet for a few years because of how I thought my family would react. It wasn’t until I was nine that I stopped caring about how they would react, and decided to tell my brother first because I could tell him anything and know that it would be kept between him and me.
Unfortunately for me, the news I just unloaded upon my brother was too much for him too handle. I found this out the next day when one of my eldest sisters admitted that our brother had told her my secret because he freaked out and didn’t know how to comprehend having a gay little brother. From that day on for about a month my brother and sister would make me do whatever they could get me to do and if I resisted they would threaten to out me to our parents.
The day I came out they had both asked me to clean their shoes, which I found ridiculous and as expected, they threatened me as always, but for some reason that time it blew a fuse in my head. I FLIPPED OUT!!! I cussed them out and told them how low I felt they were for about half an hour and once I was done with them I went right into the kitchen while my mom was washing dishes and said out loud, “MOM, I’M GAY, I LIKE GUYS, DEAL WITH IT!!!” She dropped the plate she was holding which shattered, turned to face me, and replied with, “You had better be joking.” We talked for the next 3 hours and from that chat I could tell the perception on her life had been altered completely and that her attitude towards gays would never be the same. I knew this because I had told her about how my siblings had been blackmailing me which made her so disappointed with them. After scolding them and bringing tears to their eyes, she didn’t speak to them for a couple months.
As for my father, I told him a year after I came out to everyone else. To this day he is still in denial and constantly tries to encourage me to take an interest in women.
Wow, you were way ahead of me. I don’t think I even knew what “gay” meant at age 9.
Honestly never heard a story like yours.
The people I have known that came out at an early age all had one thing in common - supportive family.
The people I have known that did not have supportive family were too scared to tell family at such an early age or even years later.
But what I find so surprising about your story is the werewithal you had at such an early age. I think I would be correct in saying most of us were pretty clueless at nine years old about our sexualities.
Your story is amazing.
I’m curious, Alfie, how old are you now? So that we can get a bit of extra perspective. I find your story amazing. Way to go dude.
I agree that this story is pretty amazing- that you were able to come out at the age of 9 to a very unsupportive family.
I had an idea I was gay at 9, but it wasn’t until I was 11 and a stash of gay porn made me realize I was gay. I thought *I* was early for coming out to my sisters at 14. Geez. Nine? Wow.
I knew I was attracted to other boys when I was 7 years old, so I can relate to the young age. However I was terrified of being found out and I remain in the closet to this day.
Wow! First of all you are awesome for being so brave at 9 years old. Your brother and sister suck, I can’t believe they would do that to you. I’m glad you’re mother came around and I hope some day your dad will come around. I’m still waiting for my dad to come around, he’s been in denial since I came out to him a couple years ago … we’ve never talked about it since.